Feeling’s…..nothing more than FEEEEELINGS.
Oh man, how I hated that rotten tomato song when I was a kid. It was not only the worst party killer of the late 70’s (or so I’ve been told) but it was just the ticket to make you truly depressed right before school. It was like Rick Dee’s was on a personal crusade to torture every single kid in the entire United States. Why do I say that you ask? Picture this….
You’re in that tenuous and precarious stage of life called grade school. All the cool kids ride the bus to school, and here you are, in your parents wood paneled, bottle green 70’s styling station wagon, being carted to school by your mother who is still in her bath robe. Plus, you just KNOW she is going to get out to give you a hug and kiss and she is going to do it front of the whole damn world (ok ok, so the whole darn school…same difference at that age). So, you’re contemplating your pending doom, when your mom turns on the radio and there is Rick Dee’s in his radio voice glamour.
Is he going to be bitch’n and play a totally smokin’ song? Maybe a little bit of the Four Seasons with December, 1963 (OH what a night!!!), or Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen?
Perish the thought!!!! No No No, Mr. Dee’s knows that all you kiddies are presently in your parents shitty bottle green station wagons on your way to school. Mr. Dee’s feels that this is an excellent opportunity to teach you that life is not fair. Mr. Dee’s has decided to be a tortuous bastard and instead of playing Shake Your Booty by KC and the Sunshine Band….he whips out Feeling’s by Morris Albert.
What a Cheese Weasel! What a Square! Gag me!
But when I was thinking about what I can write today…out of no where that song popped into my head. Now, I haven’t heard that song in probably a good 10 years. Actually, I think the last time I heard it was on an episode of Saturday Night Live and they seemed to hate the song as much as I do.
So why did that damn song pop into my head? Because I associate it with bad feelings most likely. And I’m having a ton of bad feelings lately. Loneliness, despair. Yep, those are there. So is exhaustion and strain. I’m just plain worn out on all fronts.
I’ve been running around like a mad woman for the past month. I’ve been taking care of other people, or chores or errands that were far behind being due. Plus, the traffic has started to pick up again now that gas prices are back down, so my normal 45 minute commute to work has now turned into an hour and a half. Being a night owl, I’m lucky to be able to fall asleep before midnight. So basically, I’m getting maybe 5 hours of sleep at night and that’s if I’m lucky and the party neighbors haven’t decided to hold a totally righteous game of let’s stand out in the apartment complex and yell at each other about which burger is better, McDonalds Angus Beef or Carl’s new Bourbon.
So I’m stressed. I’ve been trying to think of things that could make me unstressed, but nothing is really working. Or maybe my brain isn’t really working and the idea’s I’ve been coming up with aren’t the best. Or maybe they are good ideas and I’ve just been too darn lazy to truly implement them. Or MAYBE they are good ideas and I want to implement them and just don’t have the time. Who knows?
So, I decided to write a new blog on nothing in particular. You know, just rambling life stuff. And when I went to write it, I realized that I couldn’t think of a darn thing to say. I THEN started to wonder why I couldn’t think of anything when normally it’s near to impossible to shut me up when I really get a wild hair and decide to start spewing. So, I’m sitting there contemplating my mental constipation when all of the sudden, out of no where, my brain retaliates with the song Feelings.
And you know what? For just a SECOND, for a fraction of a moment, my stomach dropped, I could smell Jean Nate bath liquid and feel the greasy heaviness of long ago eaten bacon in my stomach. For a moment, I was in first grade again, sitting in the back seat of my parent’s station wagon and dreading that moment of humiliation, pulling up in front of the school.
THAT little memory made me wonder something new. Whether our memory’s are not only there to teach us to learn from our mistakes, but also to show us that things are never as bad as what they seem and that they could be a lot worse. Right now, I can’t think of anything worse than being in the first grade again. The horrors that we do to each other when we are kids is amazing…guerrilla tactics you could say.
Sitting here, thinking about all my stupid adult problems, I realized that the most important thing right now is that I am totally and completing in control of my own situation and destiny. I no longer have to sit in the backseat of that old bottle green station wagon if I don’t want to…. Anyways, now I have a Dodge Durango and an IPOD full of kick ass songs.