Dreams, Hopes and Wishes. Changing your attitude on changing expectations.

Woman Dreaming by Alison Chakir

Woman Dreaming by Alison Chakir

Once upon a time, in a suburb far far away, there lived in a split level a young princess.

The young princess had many dreams, of being an astronaut, a professional horseback rider, an actress or a writer.  In all of those dreams, she lived in a little cape-cod house, in a little town way up north where when it snowed…it snowed big.

She would have two kids, two cars, two dogs and a husband with a pear tree (in the back yard of course).  And her property would be large, big enough for a vegetable garden and play area.  She would live in the country where her kids could roam and get into as much trouble as possible.  There would be a barn to hold her two Arabian horses (one black, one chestnut).  Her husband would be good and kind and intelligent.  He would be strong, like her father, and handsome.  Most of all he would make her laugh until her sides hurt and the tears ran.

And she would have all of this, DO all of this by the time she was twenty-five.  Twenty-six at most.

Now the princess is all grown up, past her cut off date for all her dreams.  And yet she still dreams and hopes and wishes.

It’s just that those things have all changed.  Now, her little cape-cod is a flat, not in the far north where when it snows….it snows big.  But in a city in the central part of India.  She might still get the two kids and two dogs, but not the two cars.  Also, the land and garden and barn for the two Arabian horses are gone as well.  Now they are replaced with a badminton court, pool, courtyard and play area for children.  Instead of two cars, she will have two motorcycles…perhaps down the line, one bike and a small car.

And yet she is happy with this new dream, these new hopes and wishes.

Why?

Because, life changes.  It’s sometimes exactly what you hoped for and sometimes is not.  The important thing to see is that each new representation is just as precious and special as the last (or the next).  To realize that you aren’t really letting go of those dreams, you are only modifying them.  To retain that former dream, and build on it, making it far better than it was before.

You see, in the princess’s real (and new) future, her fiancé and soon to be husband is everything that she wished, hoped and dreamed of.  He is good, kind and intelligent.  He is strong, like her father, and very handsome.  Best of all, he makes her laugh until her sides hurt and the tears run.

And the princess knows that there is still the possibility for anything to happen.  They may still get that cape-cod cottage in the north.  She may someday have property big enough for horses.  She may even still become a writer.  Nothing is impossible, if you can dream it.  That’s the point.

So, the next time you lay your head down to sleep, as you close your eyes prepare yourself for the dreams to come.  Revel in them.  Love them.  Work on making them a reality and if things change or evolve over time…all the better.

Life is constantly changing.  Dreams follow suit.  Make sure that you do as well.

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Dreams, Hopes and Wishes. Changing your attitude on changing expectations.

  1. Pingback: Learning and Revising…etiquette on Blogging. « Gori Rajkumari

  2. This post is so inspirational and it really struck a chord with me. One thing that I try and keep in mind is the saying “Our most satisfying dreams are the ones we create – not the ones we cling to”.

    I really believe that we can create our reality from our dreams and intentions. I went from being an accountant to a writer (something I never thought would be possible!), so there’s no reason why you can’t become one as well!

    It sounds like you’re going through a huge period of change, with your job and all, but I’m sure there’s a whole new amazing reality waiting for you as a result of it. 🙂 You just have to dream big!

    • I’m so glad that this post touched you.

      So often, in the beginning stages of my relationship with Bear I was at a loss for how to cope with the changes in my life that just seemed so BIG!

      But then I started thinking about it, and finding more sites to visit about Intercultural Relationships and I realized…this change isn’t that big after all…it’s still a boy and a girl loving each other and committing to each other.

      And now I find that I am very excited for my new life…if at times a little nervous or scared! But I just remember that I have resources, I have friends and I have Bear and the fear or nervousness subside.

      Now…my next big dream is how long it will take me to talk Bear into letting me adopt a Pune street puppy from the local shelter! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😀

  3. (It seems my earlier comment is on the wrong post! That’s clearly from the Superman post – sorry about that!)

    On this topic, though, I totally felt exactly the same way, but I would run into a lot of flack from my family worried I was “compromising too much” and “giving too much away to be with this man.” (And I wasn’t even moving to India! They would have f.l.i.p.p.e.d. out!) I always wanted to yell at them. “Yeah! I know I wanted a May wedding, but his parents are coming now and we have to do it when they’re here – PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS YOU KNOW!” And the knew him – knew how wonderful he was (they do like him a lot!) – they MUST have been able to tell that a May vs. a December wedding was NOTHING in the way of compromise when it meant I got to spend the rest of my life with this amazing man as my husband.

    Anyway, that’s all – just the observation that even when you can keep up with your changing hopes and dreams, others might not be able to keep up with you, or they may stumble a little on the way.

    • Ohhhh how true.

      My parents were both happy with our engagement, but also concerned that I would be moving to India. I told that by marrying Bear, that also meant that my future might be exactly that. I was always up front and honest with them about it and that it may even be a “how soon is now” kind of situation.

      Recently, due to his job, we found that we will be moving there and most likely before the end of this year. I told my father who was worried but still happy for me and the new experiences I was going to have. My mother completely flipped out and we haven’t spoken in a week.

      So I’m completely understanding your comment. I just wish sometimes people wouldn’t take their inability to change to such extremes.

      • .. When I left the Mindless Minion, I had to move back into my mother’s house.

        If only I could have afforded therapy then! No, joking. Okay.. I’m not..

        But anyway ;P

        I was living there when I met Chief and as I said in a recent post, I knew IMMEDIATELY that this was the man that God put on this earth for me. We started spending insane amount of time together and my feelings for him were so deep so soon that there was a snafu in communication one weekend that literally had me sobbing like a broken hearted school girl.

        My mother was LIVID. Well.. she was REALLY LIVID the first time I stayed over at his house but the whole point of this :: sorry, too much caffeine makes me ramble :: is that here I was.. 42 years old at the time and being treated like a pre-teen AND to be honest, feeling the guilt of one.

        She thought that I was putting aside the things I wanted to do to spend time with him. She wasn’t thrilled with the idea that he had sole custody of his three kids and what example was he setting for them. She thought that I was throwing the life I had just regained after my divorce away.

        I felt then that I would never.. in any aspect of my life.. have balance. Either my relationship was great but my family life was crap or visa-versa.

        After giving me the silent treatment for an obscene amount of time for two people that live together I told her that it wasn’t MY life that she feared I was throwing away.. but her’s. It wasn’t that I was spending too much time with HIM but not ENOUGH time with HER. That after moving back in her house I think she felt that she had the right to monopolize my time.. to take her here.. take her there… be at her beck and call.

        It was harsh.. but it was the truth.

        I also told her that she had to trust not me, but the way she raised me. That her and my dad did a good job in instilling the right morals and values and that after all I went through with my ex, that I wasn’t going to allow that to happen to me again.

        She needed to trust me enough to know that I knew what was going to make me happy.. that my dreams of having a family ::although not the way I would have wanted it:: came true.. that I had to go through all that bad to recognize what was good and that Chief was it.

        She said she would have preferred I dated different men more.. I told her “so what your basically saying is that you want me to be a whore instead of being in a relationship?”

        That shut her Italian Roman Catholic mouth!! LOL

        My mom is great.. don’t get me wrong.. but it wasn’t until after we had that exchange.. that I stood up for my ADULT self that our relationship became great too.

  4. I know exactly how u feel. Delayed hopes and altered dreams. But u know what? 10yrs later, you’ll smile n think…I’m glad it turned out this way :o) I swear.
    Thank for visiting my blogger blog. and for following it…but pls do leave ur feedback…i’d love to know what u think…

  5. I agree with you. It’s fine to decide that you can’t be a part of a relationship because you’ve got other pressing concerns, but to decide that for the other partner in the relationship – to make the choice for her and obliterate her free will – is just wrong. It’s not the same drive-slowly-when-other-people-are-in-the-car analogy. It’s more like driving your family around – slowly – until danger comes and then you dump them out on the side of the road halfway around the world (but in a nice neighborhood.) Sure they’re fine and safe, whatever, but they have no idea where they are, how to get home, and they had no power over how they got there.

    • Exactly! This is an extremely good way of explaining the situation. He had already started a relationship with her, so to change his choice while already involved…and not allow her to join in the decision…well it was childish.

Speak Your Mind!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s