Lucille Ball ain’t got nothin’ on me!

I’ve often thought how lucky I am that my husband never watched any of the old ‘I love Lucy’ shows, as instead of my nickname being Sweetu or Princess….it would have been Lucy.  I’m sure of it.

My poor husband has been through much more and had way more reason’s to say “You got some splaining to do” than Ricky EVER did.

Or “Lucy…what have you done?” for that matter.

Like the time that I dyed two of his work shirts and some of his unmentionables greenish after forgetting that my new kurta hadn’t set yet and mixing them together in the wash.

Or the numerous times I’ve boiled over the milk while making chai and in an effort to hide it have made an even bigger mess.

Or the time that I went to clean the bathroom and didn’t realize that the shower head was in the ON position and soaked myself in cold water, in the middle of winter.

Or the times that I’ve taken his picture and shared them with friends and family….looking like he just woke up and generally he HAD just woke up….or was still sleeping as everyone likes those pictures the best for some reason.  🙂

Anyway….

As some of you know, I’ve been very vocal in the Society Owners meetings that have occurred for the past 6 months.  This was stemming originally from Bear and my desire to protect the dogs living in our Society from harm.  It later turned into our need to protect us from other Society Owners wanting odd and unusual things done with Society Maintenance money which Bear and I thought could be better used for things such as actual MAINTENANCE.

Recently, the Builder wished to have what’s called an AGM meeting.  This is the first meeting in which the Builder recognized the formed Society and starts the long and twisting process of handing the Society Management over to a Committee formed by the Owners.

It was decided that we should hold a meeting the weekend previous to this to elect our Committee members as the Builder would do so in absence of one.

One the day of the meeting, Bear and I had an appointment for 2pm to purchase our AC so that it would be installed by the following Monday or Tuesday.  The meeting was at 10am so we felt there was ample time.  HA HA HA

That morning, I over boiled the milk for our chai leaving a mess all across the kitchen counter, then I lost my grip on a pot and spilt half our prepared Potato subzi on the floor, after cleaning it all up, I slipped on a puddle of water I had missed and wrenched my knee.

Poor Bear had to run up to the Kirana to get new milk for our chai and he wouldn’t allow me to move from the couch to prepare it when he returned.  He made our chai and toast and gave me an ice bag.

Did I mention how wonderful my husband is?  😉

Afterwards, I hobbled down to the meeting with Bear and our friend and neighbor.

It was a very large meeting where we were to discuss who the Committee should be, who should be Secretary,   Treasurer and Chairman.  We were also to discuss three important points that we wanted recognized and resolved upon by the Builder otherwise we would halt the hand off of the Society.

In the US, we have these same meetings.  They are called Homeowner’s Associations (HOA).  They have the same concerns as owners the world over have, perchance with different titles or different issues, but still the same problems.

In the US HOA meetings you can be met with the same “goings on” as can be met with at India’s Society meetings.  Disagreements, arguing, yelling and much confusion.  This is the norm the world over and no one holds the rights and ownership to it.  When two human people are put into a room, whatever their background, culture or familial tie…they are sure to disagree on some point or another and arguments will ensue.

The only difference was the time frame allotted.  In all the HOA’s I ever attended, everything (no matter how many points were discussed) was resolved in the hour and a half that was allotted for such meetings.  If they couldn’t be resolved, they were tabled for the next meeting.  Those then, without fail, would be resolved in the next meeting.

Here in India, at our Society meeting, even into the third hour we still could not agree to disagree and move on.  Everyone had to have their say, everyone had their point and abused other’s that either their points weren’t logical or didn’t matter because the speakers points were more important (being intrinsic to their own selfish thought that only problems existed for them).

In the beginning, after nearly an hour of listening to people yelling, arguing, interrupting or saying nonsense diatribes, I stood up and asked for order.

During the next hour, I and three others repeated this process several times.

By the third hour, and well beyond Bear and my appointed time to get our AC, I had lost my cool, my ability for patience and my resolve to be logical.  With four groups of not less than 4 men a piece in separate areas of the room, all yelling that their point was more important and nobody coming down to the actual three points that were proposed to be discussed and not a vote for a Committee member in sight, I lost it.

I stood up, I vaguely remember seeing Bear and our good friend and neighbor cover their ears and step back, I opened my mouth and screamed at the top of my not inconsiderable lungs “SHUT UP!”

You could have heard a pin drop.

People were astonished.  People were shocked.  Some were smiling and nodding their heads.

I continued “This has gone on for three hours and we haven’t talked about ONE of the issues we came here to speak about.  We haven’t even thought of voting on a Committee.  Do you think the Builder will be this disorganized?  Do you think he will sit here, at your bidding, for three hours to listen to you all crow?  Can we PLEASE for the love of GOD and all that is HOLY, please at least elect our Committee NOW?”

Some people cried “Here Here”, other’s seconded my motion, still more were yelling at me for yelling at them.  Lots of dirty looks from Auntie’s who were more concerned with the sloop of their bathroom floor than the Builder railroading us for future maintenance.

And for some time, there was rational talk again just as there had been in the beginning.  And lo and behold, twenty minutes later they agreed to vote on the Committee members.

I stood behind my husband so that he could cast his vote.  I’m not listed as an Owner on our papers yet, so I felt it improper for me to vote or suggest.  So I stood back.

And then I was voted in, it was seconded and before I knew what happened (or as my Grandfather would say “and Bob’s yer Uncle”) I was the first lady on a Committee of 13 men whom I had just yelled at.

YAY ME.

So, after much consideration (see my next blog), I had decided that I would attend the AGM meeting and thereafter withdraw my name from the Committee and prefer myself as an advisor.

Until the Builder rejected my name as it was not on the list of Owners, and effectively I was removed without my having done anything about it.

YAY ME!!!

And then four days later my AC was installed.  On the day when our power went out 10 minutes after it was installed.

YAY ME!!!

Ahh Incredible India.  >:D<

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6 thoughts on “Lucille Ball ain’t got nothin’ on me!

  1. Hooray for you at the committee meeting! I just made my husband pause the Daily Show show so that I could read him the significantly more hilarious account of you at the society meeting. Needless to say, we are both very proud of you. Mr. 4B says you deserve a big pat on the back for that.

  2. You never cease to disappoint me, Your Ladyship!
    You are a Woman of Action and I would sure have enjoyed witnessing that blast of energy vibrating their eardrums and making their hearts stutter.

    Hear Her Ladyship roar at her frank displeasure over the horrible non-sensical blabbering of the Most Idiotical of Her Subjects!

    Blithering till the time runs out seems to be the main plan of action of many of the meetings in India.
    That and food. 😉

    Don’t be disheartened, Your Ladyship!
    What you did was only to rouse your Sleeping Subjects from their Stupor!
    Any thick-skulled Aunties who repeatedly, feel that the the temporary functioning nature of the bathroom is more important than the formation a body that can take care of their maintenance problems and which is answerable to them, can be allowed to remain in their self-imposed ignorancy.

    Be Proud (which you already are) and Thank Yourself for the miracle of getting a near impossible task completed.
    CONGRATULATIONS for successfully forming a Committee.
    And being so popular (or to be so scary) as to get elected, even though temporarily.

    But this is the first step.

    Builders like to retain their control over the societies. Hopefully, you make a sound agreement.

    However, while this tactic has been successful, it might not work the next time.
    Another idea is to blow a whistle/sound an alarm every hour or so….
    And keeping a moderator/speaker. (You can apply for this post! 😉 )

    I am sure Your Ladyship will manage to rein in those more vocal of the troublemakers. 🙂

    And as for those who have already have a ‘bad’ impression about you….
    let them fester in their own negative assumptions.
    Anyone with enough brains will realise that had it not been for you, it would have taken a few decades to come to an understanding that they were gathered for a meeting to form a committee.

    So, all in all, it is CONGRATULATIONS for a ‘job’ well done are in order, my dear Vahini, and a word of caution for any new nutters who may comply to bear unnecessary animosity of a rather jealous and a bit retarded nature.

    Hmmmm…. what DO you think when you keep the chai on the stove? 😮
    And
    what kind of butter-fingers do you have? 😛

    Bear Dada is very sweet.
    But I rather think he REALLY required that chai to fortify himself for the things to come, considering how the day was already progressing!

    About those clothes….

    My sis and Aai both are extremely unscrupulous regarding the washing of their new clothes.
    Baba and me are pretty sure they DELIBERATELY mix our white handkerchiefs and vests/underclothes/my white T-shirts with their new olour-donating new clothes!

    I have got three yellow and two green handkerchiefs as a proof of their…. um…. mischief! 😦

    P. S.:- To Bear Dada,
    I prescribe you a snug pair of ear-muffs whenever Aurora Vahini decides to open her mouth to speak! 😛
    P. P. S.:- However, be ready to face some unpleasant side-effects when used a bit TOO frequently! 😉

    • Hey Jayesh…… I am presently laughing too hard over this last comment of yours to do it justice!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!

      I’ll write you a better one tomorrow! For now, I’m trying to catch my breath and prepare to make omelet for tonights dinner.

      PS: Perhaps you should also invest in earmuffs as I’m certain one can hear me from anywhere in India. 😛 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  3. funny. I do have everytime lucy moments in my daily agenda as well..
    About meetings and meltdowns, what you did is remarkable. Someone has to blow the whistle rite? IST – Indian standard time in reality is Indian stretchable time. Hope someone heard you and atleast in next they try to implement

    • Hi Meandmythinkingcap!

      To be truthful, I felt really horrible/guilty/bad after I yelled like that. I mean, I didn’t just yell, I did this full on southern gal scream (like we do when we are calling for the horses to come up to the barn). I wish I would have controlled my impatience and frustration better. Granted, I had reason’s (one of which that this is the fourth such meeting I’ve attended and the same happened in all of them sans my yelling), but does the reason’s give way to rational thinking and behavior? I just don’t know. I kind of beat myself up over that one for a few days. Also, I felt like I just gave them another reason to not like the white foreigner girl who is always ‘protecting’ the strays. Also, I don’t like to base my behavior off of other’s, whether or not they had it coming shouldn’t be the issue….it should be my own behavior that I look after. Mmmmm….I’m still having discussions with myself about that one. 😉

      Either way, it was at least entertaining yes????? And seeing my husband and our best friend with their fingers in their ears and their faces all scrunched up even before I let out the bellow was laugh worthy as well. Although it DOES speak to what they already expected from me. LOL!! At least THEY were proud of me, even I wasn’t totally.

      • I dunno I dont feel anything wrong in expressing ourselves. And this way the message would have been delivered loud and clear (literally) . I would have applauded from the crowd.
        Next time there would definitely be a change I hope. If not you wasted your energy on bunch of dimwits. There is only so much we can do 🙂

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