And now for the next thrilling installment of Gori Rajkumari !
So, last Friday evening whilst Gori was awaiting the arrival from work of her loving, wonderful, gorgeous, handsome, intelligent, creative, and smart assed husband (this part inserted in case hubby decides to read it), it came to Gori’s oh-so-sensitive ears the splitting noise of honking and yelling.
Looking out her second bedroom window, she spied cars parked (illegally) on the turnaround at the entrance to her Society complex. There were three of them and they were blocking the way into the main three parking lots of the Society so that only two wheelers and very teeny tiny cars could get through. But Gori lives in a complex with people who LIKE their big brand new SUV like cars.
So needless to say there was quite the bottleneck with a huge amount of honking and yelling and cursing.
So Gori did what she does best, she went down to find out what the heck was going on.
And found a group of 10-12 men hanging around the Guard House and the Guards standing nervously outside and shooing people away.
But was Gori shooed away you ask? Heaven forbid ….
Gori was a Warrior Princess in another life and she was sick of listening to honking because of a bunch of a-holes who thought they could park any place they wanted to.
So Gori approached said men and asked them nicely to move their cars.
Gori was ignored.
Gori also smelled alcohol and noticed sticks.
Did Gori walk away?
Gori asked again, very nicely, for the men to move their cars.
This time she was told in Hindi that nobody spoke any English and for her to go away.
So Gori said “Teek, English nahi? Kala Mara!” Which is pigeon Marahinglesh for “Ok, no English? Car Move!”
Now one of the men all dressed in white and with enough gold on to fill the National Reserve waved an arm, said something in Hindi and two overly large men came up to Gori.
Being as intimidating and standing as close to Gori as they could, one said in pigeon English…
“You go HOME! Leave now! Go!”
And swung his arm so close to Gori’s face that she felt the breeze it caused.
Did Gori go home now?
Oh Hell No she did NOT.
(sidenote) In High School one of Gori’s best friends was an African American girl called Amy. Amy was the sweetest and kindest girl imagined. She was the best on Gori’s HS Girls Basketball team. Amy was tall and muscular and didn’t take no BS. And Amy had alter ego which she whipped out on unsuspecting bully’s which she called ‘Tawanda’. Tawanda was a head rolling, in your face, finger gesticulating, no nonsense b…i….t….c….h and nobody in their right mind messed with Amy when she whipped out ‘Tawanda’. Gori was a very good learner.
So, Gori whipped out ‘Tawanda’.
She stepped up under the nose and almost into the chest of the big bully, started rolling her head and stuck her finger under big bully’s nose and said in her best (and Loudest….we all know how loud Gori can get) voice.
“I AM AN OWNER HERE AND WILL GO HOME WHEN I WANT TO!!! NOW GET OUT OF HERE OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE!!!!!!!”
Big Bully stepped back, all the other men stepped back.
Now comes the oldest Security Guard of all time who Gori secretly calls Father Time.
“Home going, please miss….please….please home going.” As he tries to guide Gori away.
And Gori realizes that the Security men are afraid of these men.
And Gori realizes that these men are BULLY’S.
And now Gori is ENRAGED.
And now Gori starts yelling at the top of her lungs for them to take their cars and leave or she is calling the Police over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Gori draws a crowd.
Big Bully’s start looking nervous.
Another Owner comes up and he demands these men to leave.
Gori continues yelling.
The men finally get in their cars and leave all trying very hard to act like it was what they wanted to do anyway.
And Gori later learns that these men were called to her Complex by an Owner who was ‘just positive’ that a Security guard put scratches on his vehicle (with no proof mind you) and wanted the goons to beat up the Guards.
Gori pitches a FIT and starts an emailing campaign that brings the man who called the goons to shame and prompts a Politician living here to beg Gori’s husband not to file an FIR as he would take care of it and that Gori should feel safe, he will fix it and for Gori to not be afraid.
Then, on Sunday night at midnight, Gori and Bear are watching a movie with the sound up to drown out the sounds of the renters above their neighbor’s flat loud and nasty party.
The door bell rings and it’s the neighbors with their children asking Gori and Bear if they are also being disturbed by said rabble rousers. The children were woken up they say. This is the fifth time this has happened in so many weeks they say (which we also confirm). They’ve asked the renters to stop, nicely and have been threatened and treated rudely by the renters they say.
So Gori and Bear give them the number for the Committee President and say they will stand behind them in the complaint. Meanwhile, the renters have now moved down and out and can be heard right underneath Gori’s balcony.
Gori goes out there and asks them to be quiet. Three are apologetic. One is not. One is rude. One is threatening to Gori. Gori tries again. Gori fails again.
Does Gori stand for this?
OH HELL NOW SHE DOES NOT.
Gori charges off downstairs with her husband the neighbors in fast pursuit. Gori finds the rude renter trying to escape and frantically pushing the elevator button.
Gori is now ‘Tawanda’ again. Gori is in his face, not letting him try to ‘reason’ with everyone else BUT her because she is the only one not listening to his lies and BS. Gori scares the renter so bad after 15 minutes of threatening to call the Owner and have them tossed out to the waiting arms of the Police as they are drinking under the legal age of 25, that he finally escapes.
Rude renter is now quiet.
And finally, last night Gori learns that more goons were hired by an Owner to beat up another Owner whom he was having a disagreement with. That Owner was beaten severely while the Guards stood by helpless, waiting for cops who did not come.
And Gori finds that out the next morning.
And Gori literally HITS THE ROOF. After a flurry of phone calls and mass emailing, the Committee finally comes to the decision that any people behaving in this manner will be forcibly and legally evicted, Owner or not.
And there is a meeting this Sunday to discuss it.
And Gori and her husband will be there. While Bear is a little nervous about Gori’s voicing her opinions so strenuously amongst people with the mentality to do such things as hiring goons….he also recognizes that one good person not saying anything makes the bad all the more powerful.
Let’s just hope for their sakes that she isn’t forced to whip out ‘Tawanda’ on them.