Recently someone asked me if I thought meeting and marrying my husband was Destiny.
I was reminded of a quote from a favorite author of mine (Lawrence Block):
I certainly didn’t go looking to marry someone from another country let alone moving to one.
But fate, it would seem, had other ideas.
Do I believe in Fate? Or even Destiny? I know I used to LIKE to think I did, but in reality and deep down I always thought I was the master of my own life. The Captain of my own ship, if you will.
Now I realize, for me anyway, it’s a combination of both things. I believe that God gave me free will in order to make my own decisions, but I also believe that he’s provided many different paths for me to choose from.
The best way I can describe it is this….
Life gives you multiple paths to take…on that road there are many detours and alternate routes you can take. These byways are your different Destinies. Your fate. All may end up in the same place or same situation but the way you reach there may be different and have vastly different outcomes.
When I met my husband, I had just reached a point in my life where I had finally found out who I was and what I wanted in life and from a life partner. It took a failed engagement and a few months of therapy to get me there.
Would I have been open to a relationship with my husband if I had met him previous to this or before I was ready? I can say honestly that I wouldn’t have been. I just wouldn’t have felt I was strong enough to deal with anything short of an easy relationship. Knowing this, I stayed away from having one for three years. And then I met my husband.
When I met my husband I had already traveled to India and was very familiar with the culture and beliefs. If I had met him previous to this, would I have been prepared for the “culture shock”? Most likely not. But I learned it on my own and with no other intent that I enjoy learning new things.
When I met my husband I was financially competent and living independently. If I had not been, maybe I wouldn’t have felt equal to him or that I had anything to contribute.
There were so many things standing in the way of our being together, that the sheer magnitude of it would have daunted anyone in a less secure stage of their life.
But somehow, someway, we were both ready for it. I think this made all the difference.
Was it pure fate? No, I think some of it was the decisions that we both made along our life that brought us to meeting at the exact right time and place. I think fate decided that time and place but not the decisions that we made on our journey there.
There are so many ways this could have turned out.
Thankfully for me, I got my Ever After.