I read this blog and it was like I was writing it myself.
Except that I no longer work for a company that sees me as an individual. That was my before. I was laid off from the dream job that I didn’t want to loose. Now I work as a corporate number for an extremely huge (and ponderous and clumsy in my opinion) company making six figures and hating EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of it.
I have a deeply ingrained work ethic, my job is not just my job it’s my responsibility. I take full responsibility for anything and everything with relation to my position. Delivered a product and missed a bug? Completely my fault. If everything went off without a hitch…it was a team effort. I took pride in what I did. Ultimately, I was the last bastion of hope when it came to getting what the client wanted in a timely manner and with little to no issues attached. I LOVED that work. Now…I’m a data monkey. Anybody could do this job. For the past 7 months, I’ve sit here, looking around and wondering why the hell they needed to hire me in the first place. The work I do is unrewarding, repetitive, and it could have been easily parceled out to the employees already hired. No reason to pay extra mullah for a contractor. But this is just one example of the wasteful nature of this company. I’m surprised at it. This is definitely NOT a tightly run ship. It’s more like a behemoth that has gotten out of control and is trumping through downtown Los Angeles and they have to call in Kurt Russell to save the President because the Governator Arnold is off shooting the new Terminator. J ha ha ha You get the point.
But to be quite honest, I’ve had to teach their own employees some things that I always thought of as simple (but to them is horrendously hard), I’ve created about 20 in depth training documents and power points for their use when once I’m gone (The Beer Truck theory…if we all went for a drink at Dave and Busters, and got hit by a Beer Truck on the way…would just anybody be able to do our work with the documents we left we behind? That’s the theory…step by step, in depth and concise documentation). I’m essentially doing the dirty work that none of them really wanted to play with before because they were too busy “working from home” or taking 2 hour work lunches or taking those stupid leadership classes online or (my all time favorites) going to pre-meetings, meetings and post meetings. They have a meeting to discuss having a pre-meeting.
So, I quit caring about work for the time being. It’s the only way I can continue to come into this place. It’s the only way I can preserve and maintain my sanity. I come in, I do my work, I leave. I sometimes feel a little bit guilty (like right now when I could be running a monkey report instead of blogging) but then I look around me and the contempt comes crawling back up to lodge in the back of my throat. I’m choking on it. The lack of respect that I have for this company will be the death of my track record for exceptional work place integrity. And I don’t care!
I miss the thrill of my last job. It was hard work, I worked long hours, I was stressed over deadlines or bug’s most of the time….but damn I was happy! We had Beer O’clock Friday’s at 3:30. Granted I don’t drink, but I always came to hang out with the crew while they talked completely politically incorrect office talk. We had lunch catered on Wednesday’s. We had impromptu cube fights. We had foot races in the parking lot. We destroyed each other’s cubes with tin foil or thousands of balloons (and yes, we did this to my boss who is the Director of the entire Development and Delivery Team). We had a game room with a foosball table, a pool table and a 42’ flat screen with Wii. I used to kick my manager’s butt at Wii Golf. The people made the difference. We worked hard and played hard. We argued over deliverables or designs or what platform to use. But we still worked as a team, holding each other in respect even when we wanted to yell our heads off at them. Our manager’s and directors would play with us as well as work. They wanted to know what we did. They would sit in to watch us work and asked real questions about what they could do to make our work lives better. They asked US what OUR opinions were on making a better business. They knew our families. Heck….we WERE a family. I loved going to work everyday.
And then the corporate dog, the parent company who bought us out for our intelligence and unique abilities for web hosted clients…decided that they could do some of our work themselves. And so the lay-offs began and the clients started having complaints over larger amounts of issues, server down time, web-designs, and data integrity….all of that. So the corporate dog lay-off more of our people to make up for the clients that they had lost (which we had had for YEARS and then lost once we were bought out and the new company started screwing things up). They didn’t lay off their people who were screwing things up…no, no, no, no….they laid off our people who knew the structure of our product. Smart nah? Highly intelligent. Absolutely. Now both companies are in trouble. And it’s sad…my old company was the perfect combination of hard work, ingenuity, creativity and personality.
Now, I work in a job where creativity is down-played because if you came up with that new fangled idea, you most likely did it at work and THAT takes away from the other monkey work that the managers want you to do. Now I work for a company where people are more concerned with the “empty big shot talk” (you know the talk I mean…where it sounds great but mean absolutely nothing). Now…I am almost always late. I hate waking up in the morning. I stay up late each night thinking that I deserve just ONE MORE HOUR of rest because of all the hours of BS that I put up with at work during the day. I’m exhausted. Emotionally and Physically.
And I can’t wait for my contract to be up.
Even if it means I will loose my apartment and have to move in with family…which I haven’t done in almost 20 years.
I’ll do it with a smile on my face this time.
Thanks to Leese at Living Me101 for her post…God it feels so good to know that someone else is having the same feelings and going through the same thing. YAY!!!!!!!!! J
And just for fun….
Giving 100% From a strictly mathematical point of view it goes like this:
What makes 100%? What does it mean to give more then 100%? Ever wonder about people who say they are giving more then 100%?
We have all had those experiences where someone wants you to give more thern 100%
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 200 21 22 23 24 25 26.
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far assskissing will take you.
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can then conclude with mathematical certaincy that:
While hard work and knowledge will get you close,
and, attitude will get you there,
bullshit and asskissing will put you over the top.